The real question is “Why are we more comfortable exposing our youth to violence than sex and sexuality?”
It’s a question that has been debated for years, yet it seems to boil down to one key factor: cultural conditioning. From the media we consume to societal norms passed down through generations, the way we view violence and sex, especially when it comes to young people, is shaped by a deep-rooted set of values that can sometimes feel contradictory. In this article, we’ll dive into why this imbalance exists and explore what it says about our collective mindset—and how this affects 2Q2F’s Age Ratings.
Violence is “Entertainment”
Let’s start with violence. In Western culture, particularly in the United States, violence has become an expected element in media. From cartoons where characters survive comically brutal beatings to blockbuster superhero movies where saving the world involves a high body count, violence is everywhere. Superheroes and video game characters alike get away with all sorts of “fantasy violence,” and it doesn’t faze most adults to allow kids to watch it. Part of this comes down to desensitization. We’re so used to seeing it that it rarely registers as shocking.
What’s more, violence in storytelling often serves as a narrative tool. It’s a way to drive the plot forward, to give characters a tangible way to interact with their world and each other. A fight scene, a war, or even an action-packed chase can immediately heighten the stakes and make the audience feel like something is happening. This impact makes violence a quick and dirty way to convey conflict. It’s practically baked into our entertainment from the start, normalized and easy to consume.
Sex is Taboo
Sex, on the other hand, is a different story. The idea of showing even a kiss in a family movie can make parents squirm in their seats. Full-on nudity or explicit sex scenes are even more uncomfortable—not that those scenes are in family movies, they get a whole other category for this stuff.
Why is that? Well, in much of Western culture, particularly in the U.S., sex is still treated as taboo. Despite its prominence in advertising and pop culture, sex education lags behind, and we’re taught that sexual content is something to be hidden or whispered about, not openly discussed. This sets up a stark contrast with the relatively open portrayal of violence.
Part of this stems from historical factors. In the early days of cinema, the Hays Code—a set of moral guidelines applied to American films—restricted depictions of sex, homosexuality, and even interracial relationships, while violence was allowed with fewer restraints. These restrictions were largely shaped by religious figures who sought to enforce traditional values. Although the Hays Code is no longer in use, its influence lingers, particularly when it comes to what is deemed “appropriate” for children and teens to watch. While violent scenes are shrugged off as just part of the story, sex is kept under wraps.
The Fear of “Real” Consequences
One reason for this might be that violence, for many, remains more abstract. It’s a part of the fantasy. Most people will never have to wield a sword, fight an enemy, or deal with gunfire in their everyday lives (Don’t get us started on in-school violence in the US. It’s an epidemic, it’s appalling, and we do not condone it). As long as the violence remains at arm’s length, it’s not seen as a real threat. A lot of parents believe they can talk to their kids about it, provide context, and trust that their children will understand that what happens on screen isn’t real.
Sex, on the other hand, feels much more real and immediate. It’s an inevitable part of growing up, something most people will experience, and for some, it’s a lot harder to explain. Parents can avoid conversations about sword fights and wars, but the reality of sex is harder to dodge. In fact, some research has shown that sexual content in media can lead to an increased interest in sex among adolescents, which raises the stakes for many parents. Unlike violence, which can feel like an out-of-reach fantasy, sex hits close to home, and parents might worry about their children being influenced to make decisions they’re not ready for.
Cultural Differences
Interestingly, this perspective isn’t universal. In many European countries, sexual education starts earlier, and there’s a greater comfort with discussing sex and sexuality openly. In places like the Netherlands or Sweden, nudity on television isn’t a big deal, and sex is seen as a natural part of life. Violence, on the other hand, is treated more seriously, and films or television shows featuring violent content are often rated for older audiences.
So why the difference? Some argue that it comes down to cultural values. In the U.S., the military holds a place of national pride, and the idea of the “good guys” using force to save the day is a common narrative, which helps normalize the use of violence in media. Sex, however, is wrapped up in Puritanical values that linger from the country’s founding, making it something to be dealt with in hushed tones or avoided altogether.
The Double Standard
Ultimately, the disparity between how we view violence and sex in media says a lot about cultural priorities. As a society, the US has become desensitized to violence because it’s easier to separate it from real life. It’s framed as something that happens to others, in far-off places, in stories we tell to entertain ourselves. But sex is personal. It’s something we’ll all encounter in one way or another, which makes it scarier to depict and harder to talk about.
But should it be? Violence is far more harmful in the real world, with devastating consequences. Sex, while complicated, is a natural part of being human. If we can be comfortable showing people hurting each other, why can’t we be just as comfortable showing them loving each other? Maybe it’s time to reevaluate what we consider appropriate, and why we’re so afraid of conversations about sex when we’re perfectly fine with teens watching explosions and gunfights.
As adults, it’s worth reflecting on the stories we tell and the way we introduce young people to the world. Maybe we should be just as careful about what kind of violence we normalize as we are about what kind of sex we hide. After all, both shape how the next generation sees the world—and themselves.
Our Opinion, Our Ratings
We at 2Q2F wholeheartedly disagree that the addition of sex to a story should force the Age Rating to that of the legal requirement of the US (18 years of age). Our site caters to LGBTQ+ individuals around the world, and we personally believe that the average 16 year old has likely already been exposed to some form of sexual content prior to reading the novels we review.
Though we do not condone breaking any laws in order to read explicit or age-inappropriate materials, we do believe that reading a love-scene is likely to provide a healthier outlook on sex than the pornography that is likely already being watched by our youth. Because of this, we apply a 16+ Age Rating to most books with some form of an intimate scene. If more clarification is needed, we have provided a table below explaining some of our decisions.
| Age Rating | Reasons |
|---|---|
| 13+ | Acceptable for all Young Adults and Teens. Likely only has referenced intimacy or romantic scenes and/or minimal “violence”. |
| 16+ | Acceptable for most Young Adults. May include some violence and/or intimate encounters between characters. |
| 18+ | Recommended for “Adults” – based on the US Age of Majority. Includes graphic or excessive violence and/or graphic or kink-related intimate scenes. |
Boring disclaimer to cover our asses: This post and website represent the opinions of 2Queer2Fiction and its authors. The ratings and content posted here are purely opinions and may not adhere to your local laws. Please consult your local laws to ensure compliance with your country’s media regulations.
If you have any questions regarding our Age Ratings, please contact us.